Monthly Archives: February 2011

Smooth Landing

Posted on by petezappy1
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Behind the scenes, while my priority was to get to the airport, my crew did everything to make that happen within minutes, hassle free,  even checking me in before I arrived.  My arrival in New York was the same experience.  Our close friends, Marty and Steve, were waiting just outside  the gate when I arrived.  They had me from LGA to NYU Medical Center in 15 minutes flat!  Upon arrival I walked into a crowd of 8 or so people. My sister and brother in law, and other close friends had been there through the whole ordeal. I dropped my bag and went to hold Mary as if  I hadn’t seen her  in ten years.

It was about midnight when I arrived and Mary was just coming to, Remy was not even 5 hours into the outside world.  The nurses at Tisch were so attentive and immediately got me in touch with a doctor that was in the operating room with Mary.  She asked if I wanted to come up and meet my daughter.  I told her to give me some time with Mary, and that once I was sure she was okay I would be up.   Still with every emotion racing through my head, I couldn’t wait to see Remy and didn’t want to leave Mary.  What would she be like? How hard would it be to meet my child and see her completely dependent on machines to keep her alive?  Was it safe for me to go there?  I didn’t want to get her sick!  Don’t get me wrong, all I wanted to do was see her, hold, and look at her.

Mary was moved to ICU and I wanted to make sure she got settled in before leaving her.   She was pretty out of it, going from general anesthesia straight to a morphine drip, so she would go from spurts of comedic inebriated moments to tearful moments of concern for our child, into screeches of pain.  Once she got settled in she was still pretty out of it from the drugs, so I went downstairs to meet Remy.

As a skier, who loves to challenge myself to my limits and feed off of an intense adrenaline rush, I can say that I was filled with adrenaline like never before.  The elevator could not have been any slower and I could feel my heart beating so fast.  It was an intense rush.  I walked into the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and heard some babies crying and in each section there were 4 incubator cubes.  Our Remy was in the last section.   I walked up proud, smiling standing tall, with a constant stream of tears running down my face that could have filled a bucket.   “Hello….. (followed by absolute silence). Hello Sweetheart!”   There she was.  All 2 lbs.!  She was covered in gauze around her head.  She had a ventilator down into her throat, and I.V. attached to her arm, tubes going into her belly, and band aids around her feet.  Her skin was as red as a chili pepper, literally.

This time, I won’t try to describe what I felt, except that I felt more than I can ever remember feeling, period!  The nurses explained to me what all of these tubes did, her condition, her color etc.  It may as well have been Charlie Brown’s teacher talking, because all I could focus on was looking at Remy until I heard the words “would you like to touch her?”  This is when I really knew I was a Father.

The Phone Call

Posted on by petezappy1
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You never expect something to suddenly happen that will change your life.   On Wednesday February, 23rd, while working with a television crew shooting a new reality show,  about 500 miles from home, I was told by my EP to call Mary immediately.  After reaching her, I heard my frightened wife, frantically crying waterfalls, while explaining that the baby needed to be removed immediately to avoid severe health complications or death.  A doctor then reaffirmed and explained to me the diagnosis and  situation, which I only partially absorbed.

What the hell is Health Syndrome, I kept thinking (it was really HELLP Syndrome  http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/hellpsyndrome.html)?!?  Would this be the last time I ever spoke to my wife?  What about our daughter?  Why is this happening?  I don’t even know why or how it happened, but next thing I knew I was at the airport.  All I could do was call close friends and family and tell them to rush to the hospital.  Fortunately, some close friends and my sister had made it there already, but I was not with her while she was very sick and in her most frightening moment in life!

This was an actual nightmare.  Picture yourself caught in an undertow with your loved one and unborn child screaming for you in a sinking ship.  You can see them in the distance, but you just keep getting pulled into a current. Now play it in slow motion. That’s what it felt like.  I imagine it would feel the same way if I were with them, because in realty, their fate was in the hands of the doctors.  It was so difficult for me not being by Mary’s side.

While sitting on an airplane, our friend Sarah called to congratulate me on being the father of a baby girl.   She was a tiny 900 grams (2 pounds) and being kept alive through a ventilator and in incubation. Mary was still in surgery and being sewn back together.  Wow!  I mean, what can I say?  I felt proud, scared, cheated, excited, relieved, anxious, angry, and extremely overjoyed all at once.  I smiled and cried from one minute to the next. These extremely talented doctors and nurses made what could have been a morbid experience feel like a routine procedure.   Thank God for technology and great doctors!

All of the sudden, I’m a dad!  My daughter was in the world, extremely underdeveloped, but stable.  All I could think was, “get me the F–K out of Cleveland and to New York.”  As Murphy’s Law goes, the plane was broken and everyone had to get off!  Thankfully I was able to board the next flight.